I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
