We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
