im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
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I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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