he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
