spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
