I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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