Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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