I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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