You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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