There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
