Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
