her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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