There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We had to coat check the pizza.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
