Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
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