My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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