bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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