At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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