I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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