why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
