i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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