It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
