You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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