he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
