Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
