You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
