the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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