hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
