A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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