I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just found a bag of teeth...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
