speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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