just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
