Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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