barbara walters just said penis...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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