she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
