we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
