but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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