Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
