Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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