Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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