Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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