THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
