Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
