somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
