I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
