To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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