Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
wow bdsm is so cute
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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