please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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