Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
