watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
