Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
