he looks like a really good dad on facebook
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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