I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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