he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
