She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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