The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize