We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
