Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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