It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
