my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
don't judge my taste in strippers
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
