if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize