just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
