All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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