Heybabeimwearingurpanties
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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